I want to work with somebody who encourages me to be myself. I want to work with somebody who welcomes me to be exactly what God created me to be. I don’t want to be around people who need me to shrink who I am just so their ego can feel comfortable standing next to me.
Don’t you feel the same way?
Well… start by being that person yourself. Be the one who invites people to be real, to be themselves, to let their gift breathe. If you want that type of environment, you’ve got to give that type of environment.
Whatever talent you have, nobody can take that away from you. I don’t even know why I’m writing this series of articles with the same theme, but maybe it’s because somebody out there needs it. Somebody is in a studio right now dealing with the exact thing I’m talking about.
I can spot selfishness in two seconds. It always starts with the “I” word.
“I this…”
“I that…”
“I’m special…”
“I’m chosen…”
They’re always trying to convince you how special God made them, as if He didn’t bless you too. They can’t help themselves — and people around them always notice it long before they do.
But here’s the part you have to understand:
Some of these folks were made insecure early in their development. Something happened back then, so now they have a constant need to validate themselves as adults. So don’t be too critical… but don’t let it turn into an annoyance either. Because trust me, there comes that moment when everybody in the studio looks at you like,
“So… what you gonna do about this?”
LOL.
Look for people who match your mentality. People who want to do radio without all the ego. It’s hard, because you never know what that mic time will do to somebody. Some folks get one compliment and their ego starts running all over the building. I’ve seen it. I know it.
The key is simple: Vet people well before you make them part of your show.
Even if they create magic on the mic… be patient before you commit to somebody you really don’t know yet.
The first thing you’ve got to do — and most hosts will never understand this — is you have to set everybody free.
What do I mean by that?
If you’re an insecure host, you can’t relate to this conversation. You don’t even belong in this paragraph.
But if you’re a host who loves talent, who gets joy out of watching the people around you shine… then you already know where I’m going.
The first thing you tell your team is simple:
“Be yourself. All the way. Every day.”
I want you to be who you really are.
I want you to have opinions.
I want you to say what you want to say the way you want to say it.
Be bold. Don’t hold back. Don’t shrink. Don’t sanitize your thoughts because you think I can’t handle it.
If we’re going to be a powerful show, I need that version of you every single day.
And I’m telling you that because I believe in you. I know what you’re capable of, and I know you can deliver.
This is where the magic gets released.
Because an insecure host would never tell their team that.
But a host who wants to dominate? A host who understands the psychology of building a winning show? He’ll empower his people.
He’ll help them grow strong.
He’ll help them turn into a force.
What Weak Hosts Fear
Weak hosts are scared to death of the very thing that could save their show:
Co-hosts with momentum and movement going on outside the station
Co-hosts who simply have that “it factor”
See… insecure hosts think other people’s shine dims their light.
Strong hosts understand the opposite — your shine hits harder when your team is glowing too.
To My Fellow Hosts With Powerhouses Sitting Next to You
Don’t get upset or jealous about the gifts God put in your co-hosts.
He gave you something too — because you’re the host.
Step back and look at your own value.
Play to your strengths.
Help them find theirs.
When you’re in that team meeting, ask:
“Where are you strongest?
What lights you up?
How can we lean into that?”
Every time you talk about these values, you all get closer — tighter — stronger.
And as the host, you should brag about the gifts your team has.
If they do a killer break? Say it.
If they drop a clever line out of nowhere? Acknowledge it.
Let them know you see them.
And the people who truly know radio already know:
This whole thing doesn’t work without you either.
You’re the quarterback.
Your job is to make plays.
That’s all leadership is in an ensemble cast of talented individuals.
Encourage Them to Shine — and Watch Your Show Take Over the City
When you empower talent instead of trying to control it…
When you celebrate the strengths of the people around you…
When you let everybody on your team fully breathe…
Your show becomes unstoppable.
Your chemistry becomes undeniable.
Your market doesn’t stand a chance.
Set your people free — and watch your dominance unfold.
If you are not the kind of host who gets joy out of watching your co-host blossom right in front of your eyes, then you need to check what kind of heart you really have.
Hosts who are insecure cannot handle being surrounded by talented people. People who are quick-witted, full of energy, full of excitement—those people become a problem for you. When listeners call in and ask to speak to someone else on your cast, you get jealous because you are the host… but they want to talk to the person they are connecting with.
So what’s the real problem with this kind of host?
They don’t know who they are yet.
They are not comfortable with themselves.
They are still comparing themselves to everybody else in the studio.
If you are the host, you’ve got to make sure everybody has a place on the show—including you. This is what most radio shows never do enough of: have real team meetings when the show is over. Real, honest, transparent conversations. Not fake stuff. Not surface-level stuff. Get right to the elephant in the room.
“Frank, you’re a mic hog.”
“What? It takes you too long to make your point.”
“You talk and talk and talk… and we’re losing.”
If you don’t point things out, the behavior continues. They get comfortable doing it. And that’s on you, the leader of the house.
Address everything that’s a nuisance on your show, and it will get better fast.
Don’t be afraid to point out what annoys the hell out of you. And sometimes, take the person who annoys you the most out to lunch after the show. Do it privately if that makes it easier—but do it.
You don’t lead like a tyrant or an egomaniac, but you do keep the balance so that every person on that microphone feels like their presence was justified when the show ends that day.
Because when the house is in order, the show is unstoppable, and you will have peace.
Everybody wants to be heard. Everybody wants to feel important. As the host of the show, do you know how to make people feel important?
Or are you secretly jealous of the people on your own show?
Are you even the right one to lead the show?
Can you quarterback a room full of playmakers, or are their stars too bright for you?
The host wants to feel important because it’s his show.
But guess what?
You got other people sitting around you who want the same thing.
They want to be heard.
First, you must be a leader.
Not a bully.
Not an insecure dictator.
A real leader.
Your team must respect your boundaries.
You must establish rules—not based on ego, but based on good radio formatics.
You will not always be right, and that’s fine.
If someone offers a stronger idea in the moment? Go with it.
That’s real leadership.
As the host, you must get better daily.
You must address your own shortcomings.
You must prepare more.
Show prep more.
Listen more.
Direct more.
And for the record—YOU must be the most prepared person on your show.
Not the producer.
YOU.
A producer is not there to cover your laziness. If that’s what you’re using them for… you don’t know what a producer is.
Human nature in the studio is simple: I want to matter on this show.
I want to be seen.
I want to be heard.
That’s why people get in radio in the first place.
But if you don’t talk about these things in your meetings—
If you don’t bring up those “little” moments when people take liberties they shouldn’t—
You will NEVER have real chemistry.
It is your job as the host to stop co-hosts from competing for mic time.
Address it.
Let it be uncomfortable.
Do not relent.
If you want real chemistry this is how you cultivate it.
There is no other way.
Pull people aside.
Talk one-on-one.
Tell them what you see.
Tell them what they’re doing.
Bring the tension to the table instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.
We’re talking about Human Nature—the need to matter.
For some people, radio is the first time in their lives anyone has validated them.
And some of these folks want to be the sole desire of your audience…
at the expense of the team.
Don’t let them do that.
Bring everybody back down.
Have these conversations.
These are the REAL talks that create REAL on-air magic.
When you settle your differences quickly, you get closer as a show.
And when that happens, it shines through the speakers.
The chemistry becomes so thick you can feel it.
As the leader, you must study everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.
Praise people in front of each other.
Say, “That was a powerful statement.”
Say, “That’s the kind of insight listeners come here for.”
As the host be the cheerleader for you show, you have the power to raise the vibration in the studio.
Eliminate envy and jealousy in the studio, and your ratings will explode.
Listeners will feel the unity coming through their speakers.
Your show will become appointment listening—
a destination of stimulation for your listeners.
They will catch the vibe, and the ratings will back up everything I’m saying.
If you are ready to do the hard work—
the pruning, the correcting, the cultivating—
I would like to coach you.
Remember: Before you can have a connection with your listeners,
you must first have a connection with your co-hosts.
When you finally start speaking with real confidence, people will show you exactly how they feel about you. You don’t even have to ask. Just open your mouth, stand on what you believe, and watch what happens.
Most people don’t like being around someone who exposes their insecurities. Your confidence does that. Your preparation does that. Your clarity on the mic does that. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to make insecure people feel comfortable with your growth.
You’ve got to get to a point where you can look a co-host or a so-called “friend” in the studio and say:
“Hey, I notice when I do this, you always start playing the one-upmanship game.
Why are you doing that?”
That one question will bust up a whole lot of phony-baloney relationships in radio studios and podcast spaces.
Early on in my career, I wish I would have been bold enough to do that. I swallowed a lot of stuff I should’ve confronted. I let too much slide because I just wanted peace, or I didn’t want to be seen as “difficult.” Meanwhile, my stomach was in knots every morning working next to people who were secretly competing with me on my show.
Let me tell you something:
You’ve got to let people know early that they can’t F with you.
If you don’t establish that boundary, it will be a stomach-turning show every time you go on the air with these characters. And this goes for you podcasters too.
The person who has to have the last word on every break.
The one who jumps in, even when the bit is clearly yours.
The one who starts performing whenever the spotlight isn’t on them.
Or how about this classic:
A song is ending, you’re about to talk, you’re in show mode, and somebody in the studio is singing loud on the tail end of the song… right when you’re supposed to crack the mic.
Now you’re pissed, because they’re holding up the break and throwing off your timing. And if you don’t say anything, they’ll keep doing it. Not because they don’t know better—but because you haven’t drawn the line.
If you don’t address small things early, they become big, annoying distractions later.
These are the little nuances that slowly poison a show from the inside:
People who crave attention more than they care about the show
Folks working in groups who were never properly coached
Co-hosts who think the show belongs to them, not to the audience
Most of this could be cleaned up by a strong program director who understands chemistry and expectations. But a lot of you are not going to get that level of coaching from your PD.
Get Mentors Outside Your Station
When I worked in Baltimore at V-103, I would take the train to Philly and spend time with my close friend Brian Carter, who did mornings on Power 99FM. He was a radio junkie. He loved this business. We would sit and talk studio dynamics, show flow, break structure, energy, and all the little unspoken rules of running a room.
He taught me a lot about how to handle personalities in the studio—what to address, what to ignore, when to confront, and how to keep the show first. I appreciated that wisdom coming from another morning man who actually understood the pressure.
He’s passed away now.
When I write these articles, I’m doing it for him and for the people who helped shape my career. I think about all the game they poured into me. Brian would be so proud that I was inducted into the National Black Radio Hall of Fame in 2023.
But understand this: I never sat around dreaming of being in anybody’s Hall of Fame.
I just wanted to be a big-city DJ. That was the dream. And God blessed me to do that—over and over again.
So if any of you have the same dreams—whether it’s radio, podcasting, or digital media—I’m here to help you.
Speak Confidently. Set Boundaries. Protect Your Show.
So please keep in mind:
The moment you start speaking with confidence, people will expose their true feelings about you.
Some will support you. Some will resent you. Some will secretly compete with you.
Your job is NOT to shrink so they feel better. Your job is to SPEAK WITH POWER AND AUTHORITY! TO HELL WITH THEM. Don't worry about how people are looking at you when you talk. Ignore their looks and be as bold as hell. That's what I want to see. This is what your haters need to see from you! Then do it over and over again and watch them shrink and take their place.
Address the one-upmanship. Put it out there and check the spirit of the people around you.
Call out the little sabotages. Tell em, and let there be silence. Wait for a response, and have examples ready.
Nip the studio foolishness in the bud.
You deserve to work in an environment where your creativity can breathe.
And if you don’t have anyone in your building you can talk to, reach outside of it. Find mentors, peers, and veterans who will tell you the truth and help you grow.
If you need that kind of voice in your corner, reach out to me.
In putting together your new podcast or radio show, find people who love to debate. Find people who are independent thinkers. Do not hire yes-men or yes-women. When everybody agrees with the host all the time, that is boring.
Have a spirit of cooperation on the show, yes — but still encourage people to think for themselves. Everyone must have their own opinions. You need people who can say, “I think this, and here’s why.” Encourage your team not to be afraid to challenge a thought they disagree with.
If you open your mouth on the show, you better be ready to articulate what you believe. That alone makes your show interesting to listen to.
You need co-hosts who are not afraid to disagree — and who don’t take it personally when their point gets debunked by a more thoughtful explanation. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I didn’t think about it that way. That makes sense.”
If the whole team agrees on an issue, cool.
If you don’t agree, that’s cool too.
The host must be strong, surrounded by strong people. The host is the quarterback. He executes the plays. A great quarterback knows how to distribute the ball to the playmakers. That’s what makes a show work. And sometimes the QB will keep the ball and run it himself.
It all comes down to teammates trusting each other.
Encourage each other to amplify the good things — especially when that magical chemistry starts bubbling over the air. When everyone on the show justifies their existence, your listeners will tell you"I just love listening to you guys".
When everyone in the studio is rooting for each other to be themselves, that’s when the ratings show up in Nielsen and the podcast numbers explode.
And please: don’t copy other shows. You can admire them from a distance, but originality is the key. Why do a prank phone call like everybody else? Why don’t you believe the real you is good enough?
You don’t need to be validated by other people in your profession. If you are doing the thing you love to do, then the universe has already validated what you believed about yourself. It is more important for you to believe in yourself than to sit around hoping people will see your value.
People who don’t know who they are depend on other people validating them. They don’t have a thorough knowledge of themselves or what their capacity is to become what they said they wanted to be. Looking to others for validation is a mistake.
Can you get validation from envious, jealous-hearted co-workers who see you as a threat? Hell no.
People who see you as a threat will never give you genuine compliments. And if they do dare offer one, you can feel the lack of sincerity all over it.
The first thing you have to do is be honest with where you are in your personal development. Don’t lie to yourself about where you are as a professional — it will show up in your performance. Get better in the quiet of your room.
Practice. Practice. Practice on the things you need to improve. This is where your confidence comes from. You’ve got to close the door and do some woodshedding in the barn. You’ve got to know what you’re doing when you hit the big stage. That level of mastery is built in private. Practice in private and shine in public.
Getting to know what you are capable of is your most important discovery. When you have true knowledge of who you are, you don’t need anyone’s validation. God has already validated you by giving you the talent you have.
Recognize what you’re good at, cultivate it, grow it — and do not seek the applause of others. Ever.
When you’ve hosted as many shows as I have, you get good at reading faces. You can see it while you’re talking — that twisted look that tells you everything you need to know. A lot of people sitting next to you aren’t rooting for your success. They’re competing with you… on your show.
You know the type.
If you say green, they say orange.
If you say wet, they say dry.
If you say this, they say that.
Every opinion you give gets hit with a “yeah, but…”
It’s subtle. It’s constant. And it’s intentional.
Some people love to undermine you — all while pretending they’re just “doing radio.” And the crazy part? You STILL give them credit, you STILL highlight their strengths, and they STILL find a way to turn it into a competition.
It's clear, they’re jealous of who you are and what you’ve built.
So the real question is: how do you navigate through talented people who are secretly jealous of you?
1. Stop caring about the faces they make.
When you speak, speak. Period.
Stop shrinking because somebody’s face looks funky while you are talking.
Stop wondering who’s going to like or dislike what you’re saying.
When you are the leader, you speak with authority — You don't have to ask NOBODY'S permission TO SPEAK WITH POWER. WHO CARES WHAT THEY DON'T LIKE!
2. Stop placating insecure people.
You don’t need their agreement.
You don’t need their validation.
You don’t need the nods and the fake smiles.
Say what it is. Say how it is. And look them directly in the eye when you say it.
Once they see the shift in you — that you’re leveling up and not asking for their approval — the games stop.
3. Remember: the show is yours. The business is yours.
You built it.
You carried it.
You are the engine.
People will always try to say whatever they want on the platform you created if you don’t set the boundaries.
But now it’s time to assert yourself and take back what belongs to you.
Here’s How You Fix It Today
1. Don’t let people take what doesn’t belong to them.
Your spotlight is not up for debate.
2. Don’t fight for the spotlight — it’s already yours.
Be firm with anyone who tries to become the spokesperson for YOUR creation.
3. Go silent on them.
Stop trying to be agreeable.
Stop the small talk.
Stop making them feel comfortable while they actively disrespect you.
4. Tell the truth privately — and watch their spirit.
Pull them aside.
Talk one-on-one.
Tell the absolute truth and see if they submit to it or fight it.
That alone will reveal everything.
5. Don’t avoid conflict when it knocks on your door.
Truth will always expose who really belongs with you.
If someone leaves because you finally stood up for yourself — GOOD.
You don’t need anyone who can’t confess when they’re wrong.
Never Give Up Control of Your Show
You can’t shrink when it’s time to redirect the people on your team.
You can’t allow people with wounded egos to hijack your purpose.
You’ve been generous with them — you’ve shared your stage, your spotlight, your audience. And they STILL want more.
This is the moment you reclaim your studio.
This is the moment you stop letting insecure people set the tone.
This is the moment you stand fully in the authority God gave you.
There is one rule every media personality must tattoo on their soul: People never forget how you make them feel.
We talk for a living, but what people remember is how we made them feel in our presence. When someone who listens to you every day finally meets you, that’s not a small moment — that is an honor. They could be anywhere, doing anything, but they chose to drive across town just to shake your hand, take a picture, or tell you, “I love listening to you.”
Slow down.
Lock in.
Give them your full attention like they are the only person on earth at that moment — because to them, you are.
Even if the conversation lasts two or three minutes, let those minutes be unforgettable. Show real appreciation. Let them feel the gratitude you have for their time, their support, and the role they play in your career.
We Are in the Connection Business
We’re not simply hosting shows — we’re building relationships. This is a service industry disguised as entertainment. The goal is never fame, attention, or ego. The goal is connection.
I want a real connection with the people I serve.
I want them to feel seen.
I want them to walk away saying, “BJ treats people right.”
That’s the business we’re truly in — the business of impacting lives.
When someone interacts with you, Make their experience with you feel like a blessing.
An Unreasonable Pursuit of Serving People
Great media personalities have an almost unreasonable commitment to serving their listeners. You don’t brush people off. You don’t rush them away. You listen.
Hospitality is not just for restaurants — it’s a talent, and it’s part of your brand.
Be the best at making people who think you’re important… feel even more important.
Let graciousness and kindness guide you.
Because at the end of the day, long after the mic goes cold, people won’t remember the segment you did that morning…
So many radio hosts today are lazy. Instead of doing their own show prep, they go get a “producer” — usually someone with little to no real experience — and dump everything on them. Their ego feels good saying, “Talk to my producer,” but the show suffers because they never learned how to actually use a producer to enhance what they do.
Most people only use producers to print show prep from the big prep services… and that’s it. No creativity. No intention. No purpose. And that’s why the show never gets better.
If you want a good producer, you must teach them to think like you think about your show.
They must understand your structure, your rhythm, your expectations, and your non-negotiables. A producer should mirror your thinking — not dictate content to you.
And let me say this clearly: If they have no experience, they should never be dictating anything.
Get someone humble. Someone willing to learn. Not an arrogant person who refuses to listen. That becomes a headache later. If you want them on air, cool. But if you don’t, then make sure you hire someone who only wants to serve the show — and does not have a hidden agenda.
A producer is a coordinator.
A support beam.
A silent engine behind the scenes.
When they think like you, you can trust them to keep the show running even when you're not in the room.
How to Train a Real Producer
Here are some ideas and expectations:
1. Teach them how to prep content that fits YOUR mind.
It’s not their show. It’s your show. Their prep must match your style of storytelling, your humor, your point of view, your audience.
2. Learn your hosts’ strengths and weaknesses.
A producer must know who shines where — and who struggles where — so they can set every host up to sound smart and impactful.
3. Serve every member of the show.
A good producer brings order, clarity, and confidence to everyone behind the mic.
4. Think ahead.
A great producer is always anticipating the next move. They don’t wait for things to happen — they stay ahead of them.
5. Arrive early.
You should be there before anyone else. Debrief the team on what happened overnight. Bring your ideas. Bring your angles. Bring your energy.
6. Bring content — real content.
If you have a staff of 2–3 hosts and you are the producer, they should bring 30 pieces of content to the table — ten for each host. Then you all decide which ones will hit the audience with impact for the day.
7. Use creativity to enhance the bits for todays show.
A producer should be adding layers: sound, angles, guests, humor, research. Make it bigger. what epieces can we add. Who can we call on the fly for this bit. Make it happen with speed.
Your job is to be the force that makes everything pop.
If You’re Not Hired to Be On-Air, Stay Off the Mic
If the producer was hired strictly to produce — not cohost — then they must honor that.
If the host pulls you into the conversation occasionally, fine.
But don’t force your way onto the air if that’s not what I need you for.
Great Producers Don’t Take Over — They Elevate
I’ve worked with great producers — people I trained to run my show my way, not theirs. A seasoned morning host will never let a novice redirect the personality and spirit of the show just so they can say, “I have a producer.”
A real producer knows their role: Serve the show. Protect the energy. Strengthen the host.
When a Producer Has Talent Beyond Producing
Sometimes you get blessed with someone who can articulate… someone who’s humble and has the goods. When that happens, you’ve got decisions to make.
Because the success of your show depends on knowing what you have in that studio. If your producer is a weapon — use them. Transition them into a cohost if needed.
Whatever it takes to win.
Don’t wait.
Teach your producer how to serve your show.
Build people who love their role and want to help your show thrive.
When you get the right mix of talent, humility, creativity, and structure, you create that Bliss Effect — that pure energy that shoots through the speakers and hits the listeners right in their chest.
What do you do when you realize someone in the control room is jealous of your gift?
How do you handle envy and insecurity right there in the studio where the show lives?
If you’re working with a partner—or multiple partners—this issue of jealousy, mic-time envy, and ego can ruin your show. I’ve worked with as many as 7 people in a studio at once, and if it’s not managed properly, it becomes a nightmare. There always seems to be one or two people who want to take more liberty with the mic than they should, and it throws off the chemistry. The main cohost and the contributors clash. Tension builds. And the show suffers.
As the host, you are completely responsible for the spirit of that control room. You must be proactive, not passive-aggressive. If you don’t take authority over your own show, you will be frustrated every single day by the elephant in the room you refuse to address.
A lot of people simply don’t know how to play well with others. That’s a fact. And sometimes, after enough time and enough conversations, if a person refuses to change, you must make a change—for the good of the show. I’ve personally waited too long to correct situations, and it didn’t end well. I’ve been fired for poor team management, and I’ve also had to fire people I brought onto the show.
Sometimes people genuinely do not believe you’re the leader of your own show. They want your spot. They throw shade at your leadership. And this happens in show business more than you can imagine.
Because I love talent and give people room to flourish, some start thinking they got there on their own—not realizing they were being coached by somebody who wanted them to win every day. Radio is full of egos and insecurities. If you don’t address them, they will destroy the chemistry of your show.
So let me help you deal with this on your show:
1. Be brave and confront it.
Expose the behavior privately. Tell them exactly what you’ve observed and how it disrupts the chemistry. Don’t be afraid to lose them—no single person is more important than the health of your show.
2. Address issues immediately.
When you see something off, say something. Don’t wait six months and then shock everyone being passive aggressive. Silence is not leadership.
3. Set boundaries.
Sometimes the issue isn’t them—it’s you failing to train people how to deal with you. Leadership requires you to say, “You can’t do that here.”
4. Teach humility.
Let your staff know what you’re noticing. Address behaviors like talking over each other, not letting someone finish a thought, or taking too long to make their point. Small habits become big problems.
5. Deal with the “All About Me” person.
Every show has one. Handle it directly.
6. Purge the “I-I-I, Me-Me-Me, My-My-My Monster.”
This selfish spirit will kill your show. Talent means nothing if they’re toxic. Their ego will spread poison, make others compete for airtime, and drain your energy.
7. Handle the “You’re Not the Leader” syndrome.
A secure host celebrates talent. But your admiration can be mistaken for weakness by people with takeover spirits.
Don’t let that slide.
Let them know: “I see how you’re moving.”
Test the spirit. Correct it.
8. Own the show—fully.
They hired you as the leader. It’s your name on the show. You picked the people you believed could help you win. Never give away that authority. Share responsibility, but don’t surrender control.
Some hosts even hand over content leadership to inexperienced producers because they’re lazy with show prep—causing chaos. (That’s another article.)
9. Stop needing to be liked.
That desire will destroy your career. Not everyone will like you. And if you need approval, you’ll tolerate disrespect and repeat the same mistakes.
10. You can’t outrun jealousy—address it head-on.
Jealousy won’t disappear on its own. Speak straight words. Let them know you see the games and let silence fall where it may. Don’t sugarcoat it. Say what needs to be said. Make sure your heart is right, and everything will work in your favor.
Leadership is about truth—holding yourself and others accountable to truth.
In Closing
Competitive comparison breeds envy and jealousy. Some of us are surrounded by it because we are anointed to do things others struggle to do—and that upsets people. But their insecurity is not your burden.
Don’t be afraid to separate yourself based on truth.
Protect the chemistry.
Protect your gift.
Protect the show.
Stop being dishonest when you speak. You are only betraying yourself.
It’s a form of disrespect on both sides:
You disrespect the person you’re speaking with by denying them the energy of truth.
You diminish who you are by not telling the truth.
Everything in nature operates in truth. The sun doesn’t fake its light. Trees don’t pretend to grow. Your brain was created to speak truth — so every time you lie, soften, or hide behind polite dishonesty, you go against your own being.
Speak from the heart. That’s the only way you truly connect with people. Don’t rob others of the truth. When you withhold honesty, what you’re really saying is: “You are not worthy of what I hold in my breast.”
Telling the truth is respect — respect for yourself and for others.
If we all started speaking truth from the heart — not to harm, but to heal — we’d be closer, stronger, and more human.
So here’s the call to action: Start today.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
Let your words carry the same honesty that the universe operates on.
Truth draws us closer. Lies repel.
Don’t betray yourself — the world needs your truth.
When someone challenges you on the air to prove your point, why do you react the way you do?
You’re in a position where you don’t want to sound unintelligent in your response. Your mind starts spiraling. You stumble on your opening. Then you start rambling, gambling with sentences that have little to do with the topic. Your palms get sweaty. You feel that intense need to prove yourself — but you’re drowning.
Maybe the reason you can’t clearly defend your position is because your belief system isn’t anchored in what you said. This is what happens when you speak on things you have no real connection to. You’re detached from your own words — and now someone’s called you on it.
Be a Student of Your Own Mind
Get in the habit of studying how you think and why you think that way.
Speak boldly, and never betray yourself when you speak. Only say what you mean and can defend.
Speak with clarity, and stay within the boundaries of what you can clearly articulate.
These are some of the ingredients for mastering every response that leaves your lips.
Own Every Word
Your responses shouldn’t come from someone else’s mind — they should come from your own.
If your words are born from your own thoughts, you can never be caught off guard.
Take ownership of what you say. Live and die by your words — and know exactly why you said them.
Let People Hear the Real You
Sometimes we’re afraid to let people know what we really think. But every day, you’re forming opinions about people, places, and things — that’s natural.
Your audience wants to hear your take, your truth, your perspective.
Don’t let fear trap you. Don’t hide. Don't stumble over your words, just say it. When you don't speak your truth, people will embarrass you on your own show. So on your show or as a guest, say what you mean with clarity. Start eliminating the practice of trying to search for the perfect words to say, just say what you mean.
That’s why you’re on the air in the first place — to give voice to what others only think. Say what you think the first time. No more beating around the bush.
What I’ve discovered after 41 years in this business is that most people in entertainment only care about themselves. Very few are unselfish or genuinely concerned about others. This industry is full of ego, and if you’re not careful, you’ll get your feelings hurt trusting people who don’t have the same heart you do.
Learn from how people have treated you — and make it your mission not to repeat their mistakes. But also remember this: it’s not fair to put our own expectations on others. They can’t live up to what we imagine them to be. Give them grace for not being who you wanted them to be.
I think it was around 1991 when Sam Weaver had Walt on the speakerphone. I was excited—this was Walt Baby Love. Sam had let him hear some of my work.
Walt said to me, very bluntly:
“Oh no, you’ll never be a morning man.”
I can’t remember the exact expression on my face—probably shock—but it didn’t penetrate me. I never held that against Walt Love. Maybe at that point in my development, he didn’t hear what he needed to hear to think I’d be a bona fide morning personality.
But life has a funny way of proving people wrong.
My entire career ended up being built around being a premier urban morning talent—working in major markets, syndication, and making an impact that lasted decades.
Here’s what I learned:
Sometimes people come into your life to test whether you really have what it takes to be what you say you want to be.
Did it sting? Sure.
But it never stopped me.
Because I knew something about myself that nobody else could define.
Too many people are walking around today carrying voices in their heads that don’t even belong to them.
Voices that said, “You can’t.”
“You’re not ready.”
“You’ll never be good enough.”
But those are just opinions—echoes—and they don’t belong in your spirit.
You can’t afford to carry someone else’s doubts in your head when you’re trying to manifest what God put in your heart.
So the next time you hear that voice whispering, “You can’t,”
ask yourself:
Because once you silence the voices of doubt, the truth gets louder.
And that truth is — you were built for this. Share a story with us.
