“Egomaniacs in the Studio: Why Your Confidence Makes Them Lose Their Minds”

 When you finally start speaking with real confidence, people will show you exactly how they feel about you. You don’t even have to ask. Just open your mouth, stand on what you believe, and watch what happens.

Most people don’t like being around someone who exposes their insecurities. Your confidence does that. Your preparation does that. Your clarity on the mic does that. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to make insecure people feel comfortable with your growth.

You’ve got to get to a point where you can look a co-host or a so-called “friend” in the studio and say:

“Hey, I notice when I do this, you always start playing the one-upmanship game.
Why are you doing that?”

That one question will bust up a whole lot of phony-baloney relationships in radio studios and podcast spaces.

Early on in my career, I wish I would have been bold enough to do that. I swallowed a lot of stuff I should’ve confronted. I let too much slide because I just wanted peace, or I didn’t want to be seen as “difficult.” Meanwhile, my stomach was in knots every morning working next to people who were secretly competing with me on my show.

Let me tell you something:

You’ve got to let people know early that they can’t F with you.

If you don’t establish that boundary, it will be a stomach-turning show every time you go on the air with these characters. And this goes for you podcasters too.

Nip It in the Bud or Live With the Disrespect

Egomaniacs love to hear themselves talk.

• The person who has to have the last word on every break.

• The one who jumps in, even when the bit is clearly yours.

• The one who starts performing whenever the spotlight isn’t on them.

Or how about this classic:

A song is ending, you’re about to talk, you’re in show mode, and somebody in the studio is singing loud on the tail end of the song… right when you’re supposed to crack the mic.

Now you’re pissed, because they’re holding up the break and throwing off your timing. And if you don’t say anything, they’ll keep doing it. Not because they don’t know better—but because you haven’t drawn the line.

If you don’t address small things early, they become big, annoying distractions later.
These are the little nuances that slowly poison a show from the inside:

• People who crave attention more than they care about the show

• Folks working in groups who were never properly coached

• Co-hosts who think the show belongs to them, not to the audience

Most of this could be cleaned up by a strong program director who understands chemistry and expectations. But a lot of you are not going to get that level of coaching from your PD.

Get Mentors Outside Your Station

When I worked in Baltimore at V-103, I would take the train to Philly and spend time with my close friend Brian Carter, who did mornings on Power 99FM. He was a radio junkie. He loved this business. We would sit and talk studio dynamics, show flow, break structure, energy, and all the little unspoken rules of running a room.

He taught me a lot about how to handle personalities in the studio—what to address, what to ignore, when to confront, and how to keep the show first. I appreciated that wisdom coming from another morning man who actually understood the pressure.

He’s passed away now.

When I write these articles, I’m doing it for him and for the people who helped shape my career. I think about all the game they poured into me. Brian would be so proud that I was inducted into the National Black Radio Hall of Fame in 2023.

But understand this: I never sat around dreaming of being in anybody’s Hall of Fame.
I just wanted to be a big-city DJ. That was the dream. And God blessed me to do that—over and over again.

So if any of you have the same dreams—whether it’s radio, podcasting, or digital media—I’m here to help you.

Speak Confidently. Set Boundaries. Protect Your Show.

So please keep in mind:

• The moment you start speaking with confidence, people will expose their true feelings about you.

• Some will support you. Some will resent you. Some will secretly compete with you.

• Your job is NOT to shrink so they feel better. Your job is to SPEAK WITH POWER AND AUTHORITY! TO HELL WITH THEM. Don't worry about how people are looking at you when you talk. Ignore their looks and be as bold as hell. That's what I want to see. This is what your haters need to see from you! Then do it over and over again and watch them shrink and take their place. 

Address the one-upmanship. Put it out there and check the spirit of the people around you.

Call out the little sabotages. Tell em, and let there be silence. Wait for a response, and have examples ready. 

Nip the studio foolishness in the bud.

You deserve to work in an environment where your creativity can breathe.

And if you don’t have anyone in your building you can talk to, reach outside of it. Find mentors, peers, and veterans who will tell you the truth and help you grow.

If you need that kind of voice in your corner, reach out to me.

You should email me at: bjmurphyshow@gmail.com

I’ve been where you are. And if I can help shorten your learning curve, I will.